OK, let's see if I can really stick my foot in my mouth...

1. Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal agencies to make relevant data available to the federal background check system.
Instead of the
irrelevent data? What the hell are they providing?
2. Address unnecessary legal barriers, particularly relating to the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, that may prevent states from making information available to the background check system.
Meaning... remove the application of confidentiality to
federal requests?
3. Improve incentives for states to share information with the background check system.
Just like any federal mandate... Your incentive to comply is that Uncle Sugar won't take away funding from unrelated appropriations that you have come to rely on.
4. Direct the Attorney General to review categories of individuals prohibited from having a gun to make sure dangerous people are not slipping through the cracks.
Is this the one? The 'build a
"no-buy-gun" list' that has no provision for dispute, recourse, or removal of names that have been placed on it, like the 'no-fly' list?
5. Propose rulemaking to give law enforcement the ability to run a full background check on an individual before returning a seized gun.
Even if they are not suspected or convicted of a crime in relation to the seizure?
6. Publish a letter from ATF to federally licensed gun dealers providing guidance on how to run background checks for private sellers.
Let's make it
look[i/] like it's voluntary at first... right?
7. Launch a national safe and responsible gun ownership campaign.
Like the one in Arizona that gets kicked in the nuts and censored at any opportunity? Can you picture a sign put up by the federal gov't that says "Guns Save Lives"?

8. Review safety standards for gun locks and gun safes (Consumer Product Safety Commission).
Because we don't want any infants choking on locks, or toddlers bonking their heads on orlocking themselves in safes, and we want to allocate a rediculous amount of money for some bureaucrat to write another useless report that
no-one nobody will read.
9. Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal law enforcement to trace guns recovered in criminal investigations.
We need another law added to the existing 23,000+ already on the books, to do what's already being done.
10. Release a DOJ report analyzing information on lost and stolen guns and make it widely available to law enforcement.
Hmmmm... another
report.
11. Nominate an ATF director.
Nah, not necessary. Wait... how about Chuck Norris?
12. Provide law enforcement, first responders, and school officials with proper training for active shooter situations.
Hopefully that
proper training isn't limited to "lock the door, huddle in a corner".
13. Maximize enforcement efforts to prevent gun violence and prosecute gun crime.
Someone else take this one...
14. Issue a Presidential Memorandum directing the Centers for Disease Control to research the causes and prevention of gun violence.
"Guns are a disease!" We're not accountable for our actions... it's gotta be a [________]-deficiency or a cookoo-bug.
15. Direct the Attorney General to issue a report on the availability and most effective use of new gun safety technologies and challenge the private sector to develop innovative technologies.
"Manufacturers: Add more rediculous and useless safety features designed by lawyers and bureaucrats... or we'll pass more rediculous laws that cut into your profits." [snicker-snicker - we're gonna do that anyway]
16. Clarify that the Affordable Care Act does not prohibit doctors asking their patients about guns in their homes.
"does not prohibit" will eventually equal "requires"...doctors to ask questions that are none of their fu..... well, you know.
17. Release a letter to health care providers clarifying that no federal law prohibits them from reporting threats of violence to law enforcement authorities.
No federal law... just their hypocratic oath.
18. Provide incentives for schools to hire school resource officers.
"Guard" without the "armed"? And they're really using the the term 'resource'?! And again, does 'incentive' equal 'unfunded mandate'?
19. Develop model emergency response plans for schools, houses of worship and institutions of higher education.
That's an odd combination. Is that some code for getting the
state into the
church?
20. Release a letter to state health officials clarifying the scope of mental health services that Medicaid plans must cover.
As soon as
we can figure out what the hell it says, we think one letter will clear everything right up for
you.
21. Finalize regulations clarifying essential health benefits and parity requirements within ACA exchanges.
The pharmaceutical and insurance companies that wrote the healthcare abortion we passed said we forgot to cram a few more items into that monstrosity we didn't read.
22. Commit to finalizing mental health parity regulations.
There's that word again... PARITY: 1: the quality or state of being equal or equivalent
2a : equivalence of a commodity price expressed in one currency to its price expressed in another b : equality of purchasing power established by law between different kinds of money at a given ratio
23. Launch a national dialogue led by Secretaries Sebelius and Duncan on mental health.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius and U.S. Department of Education Secretary Arne Duncan... I got nothing.
I'm not a cynic or anything like that... really!